Is the money balance tipped in your relationship?

1. The “Of Course We Know” Partnership
   Read no further, you’ve got this in the bag… right?  Well, we can’t all be on top of everything all the time, but it’s a great goal. This can be as simple as having regular chats about money with your partner. Transparency in accounts is also important. Whether or not to combine finances is a personal decision, but that doesn’t mean there are secrets. And if either of you don’t know where to find the passwords to get into all the financial accounts, it’s time to have a sit down.
2. The “Just Tell Me When I Need to Know” Arrangement
   This one is pretty common in relationships. Often, couples tend to handle money on a “need to know” basis. One deals with it and the other doesn’t need to worry about it, so they never think about it.  What’s the problem with that? Well, in extreme cases one partner is completely caught off guard. In less severe cases with no ill intent, there are still downsides. When we do something often (like budget money, talk to the financial advisor, research new tools), we become better at it and more knowledgeable. Great, but what about the other partner? The less involved person is losing out on opportunities to learn and grow their skills. It’s a downward cycle as one person learns more, the other gets further and further away from being able to take care of things, leaving them vulnerable. In addition, the person holding more responsibility can get overwhelmed with the burden of being the only person aware of financial issues.
3. The “I Don’t Really Know, It’s Fine” Method
   Ah, this one pops up quite a bit for expats.  Many of us are fortunate enough to have some expenses covered or are perhaps living in low cost of living areas. When there isn’t a driving need to pay attention, it is easy to settle in if we’re comfortable and not take an interest in how much we are spending or saving because it all works out.  Until it doesn’t.  At the very least, we all know that our current situations will change at some point (it could be a move, a job loss, divorce, repatriation or, sorry to be dark, death) and it’s necessary to be ready when they do. Because no one wants to be caught in the next situation.
   
   
4. The “Oh Crap…  I Don’t Know!” Situation
   This one is the scariest. Yep, scarier than a three-lane roundabout with long trucks, pedestrians, motor bikes and stray dogs. We can find ourselves saying this when tragedy strikes or a relationship ends and we find out that we have no clue about our finances. Being caught off guard, often far from home is truly a gut punch.  So what to do?  

While it often makes sense for one person to take the lead, finances need to be a joint project.  I hear you saying, “But they make the money, they deal with the money.”  [BUZZER] Wrong.  “I’m not good at money.” [BUZZER] I don’t care. “The person who’s home all day should handle everything.” [BUZZER] False again.  How you divide up the heavy lifting of tasks in your relationship is up to you, but financial security is too important to be lopsided.